Uncle Sasuke
by shannaringan
Summary: Post-canon. Babysitting the dobe's spawns weren't in his plans. "Sasuke-jiji?" "What?" "Shin needs to go potty." Damn it all. Prompt idea courtesy of hokageswag@tumblr.


A/N: I was in a writer's block, so I had some people help me go back to my writing mood. Hopefully, CTLOS will be updated soon!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. The plot belongs to hokageswag tumblr.

* * *

**Uncle Sasuke**

Sasuke was tired. He was filthy and dead tired. A two-week mission had him returning to Konoha in nearly shreds. That dobe of a hokage just had to give him the tough ones. What with him being the anbu captain and last sharingan wielder. He just wanted to come home to his wife, have a nice hot shower, and sleep – not even have sexy time. That's how tired he was.

But first, he needed to report back to the source of all his troubles.

After successfully carrying himself to the Hokage Tower, Sasuke didn't even knock and just barged in on Naruto's office.

"HEY WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA I'M THE HOKA – oh it's you." Naruto made a face. Typical teme. But his expression turned into that of delight when he realized his best friend was who he needed right now. "Teme! What a great timing! I need you to do something for –"

"No." Sasuke's response was quick. However, that never stopped Naruto.

"I'm not done yet, bastard!"

"I said no. I just got back from an exhausting mission, and you are _not_ ordering me to do anything." He was having none of it. _Hokage my ass._ He was dead on his feet and hungry as Naruto during his ramen rationing.

"But I really need you to babysit Shin and Takara!"

"I don't care. I'm going home."

Naruto faked – and over-exaggerated – an offended gasp. "Are you saying that my children mean nothing to you? What kind of godfather are you!"

"They're your boogers. It's not my fault you had them."

"Sasuke, you bastard! Don't act like you're not affected by their cuteness. It's just I need to get a lot of stuff done today, and Hinata's attending a family meeting in the Hyuga house, so please please please do it." Naruto pouted.

Sasuke sighed. "I'll send Sakura." He bargained still. He was exhausted, okay?

"But Sakura-chan's shift doesn't end until later at 10. I already asked."

Raking a hand through his hair, Sasuke sighed again. Damn it all.

* * *

"Tou-san!" The four-year old duplicate of his father squealed and ran towards Naruto, who in turn picked him up and threw him in the air.

"Oomf! How's my big boy? Did you help mommy out today?"

"Mm-hm!" Shin nodded with the enthusiasm only a child can have.

"Naruto-kun? Did you get a babysitter?" Sasuke heard Hinata's voice from upstairs and his expression soured at the word 'babysitter.'

"I did, 'ttebayo!"

Sasuke bonked him on the head, "I'm not a babysitter."

"Oh, Sasuke-san? What brings you here?" Hinata descended from the stairs and met them in the hall.

"He's the babysitter!" Naruto beamed, oblivious of the deadly glare aimed towards him.

"A-Are you sure he's okay with it, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked nervously. She trusted Sasuke won't harm her kids, but he didn't have his own, so he probably didn't know the first thing about child care.

"Yeah, don't worry. Come on, let's go. I have a meeting at 6." Naruto handed a confused Shin to an even more confused Sasuke before grabbing his wife's hand and bolting out the door. "See ya teme! I owe you one!"

Sasuke's temple twitched in annoyance. What was he supposed to do now? They didn't even orient him on basic child care.

He turned to the child in his arms. Big pale eyes blinked back at him. "Sasuke-jiji," Shin whispered.

"What?" Sasuke answered flatly.

"Shin needs to go potty."

"You've got to be kidding me." How could he forget the worst thing about babies? Again, damn it all.

Shin shook his head as tears gathered in the brim of his eyes. Fuck.

"Can't you wait until your mommy's home?" Yes, Anbu Captain Uchiha was negotiating with a child for his life.

"SHIN GOTTA GO POTTY NOW!" Sasuke cringed and kept Shin at arm's length. He never doubted the Uzumaki genes.

Kami, help him.

* * *

Shin was singing as Sasuke improvised on cleaning him without actually having to touch _it._ He was a highly valuable ninja for crying out loud. He will make things go his way.

"Shin, stop crying. It's only water."

"But Shin's not cwying, Sasuke-jiji."

"What?" Sasuke was halfway to zipping up Shin's trousers when he heard it again.

"Takawa's awake!" Shin exclaimed and Sasuke paled. There were two of them. There was another one. _Damn_ _it._

He picked Shin up and dropped him on the couch, "Stay." He ordered. He then climbed up the stairs and headed straight to where the crying was at. A bob of navy hair poked from the crib. He carried her into his arms and took the milk bottle from a nearby dresser. He tried offering it to Takara, but as soon as she saw him, she refused to take it with her mouth agape and gawking in confusion as to who was holding her.

"Yeah, I know. You don't know me. Your dobe of a father left you to me." Sasuke knew she didn't understand him. Maybe he was losing his mind.

"Dobe," Sasuke almost tripped the stairs when little Takara repeated what he said. He turned to her in awe.

"What did you say?"

Takara giggled, probably because of Sasuke's unusually astounded face. Sasuke's eyes softened as he smiled back at her.

When they got downstairs, his smile vanished when he saw that Shinjiru broke a plate, and was now flat on his butt as a metal strainer covered his head.

"Shin! I told you to stay on the couch." With Takara still in his left arm, Sasuke removed the strainer from Shin's head and helped him up. The little boy was a mess as tears and some other fluid streamed down from his face.

"Shin wants wamen." He stated as he continued to sob.

Sasuke sighed for the umpteenth time that day. "Go sit on the table."

"You will make Shin wamen?"

"Yes. I will make Shin ramen."

"Takawa too?"

"Yes, Takara too."

"Yay!" Shin scrambled off as Sasuke placed Takara on her high chair. He filled a pot with water and started boiling it. He swept the shards of glass from the plate Shin broke. The house was pretty quiet then, aside from Shin's singing.

After the ramen was cooked, he served Shin a bowl of his own, and prepared a little one for Takara. He even blew on Shin's ramen after he got too excited and burned his tongue. He ate some too, and just remembered that he hasn't had anything since his return from the mission.

He left the plates in the sink – there's no way he's doing the dishes, nope – and brought the kids to the living room to watch TV.

It wasn't so bad.

But he's never going to let Naruto do this to him again.

* * *

"We're so sorry we had to ask Sasuke-san take care of them for us." Hinata apologized to Sakura. Hinata had met Sakura on her way home from the hospital. Sakura knew of Sasuke's babysitting duties, so she asked if she could come with Hinata to pick him up. Hinata, of course, said yes.

"Oh, no. It's fine. I was unavailable and I wouldn't want Shin and Takara to be in trouble."

Hinata smiled and muttered a small thank you. She took out her keys and opened the door for Sakura. Their chatter died down as they met the scene in the Uzumaki living room.

There was Sasuke, with Takara laying stomach down on his abdomen, and Shin's head on his lap.

"Hinata, this – how – what?" Sakura was at loss for words. She had only seen this in her dreams when she and Sasuke would finally have a family of their own. Seeing it now, it made her want to cry.

Hinata was relieved above all. She never thought things would go this smoothly. And even Sakura was happy. She reminded herself to thank Naruto later.

Sakura walked to her husband and kissed him on the cheek. Being a ninja, it woke him up. Seeing as it was her, he relaxed again and properly kissed her this time.

"Thank you very much, Sasuke-san. I'm sorry if they ever caused you trouble." Hinata bowed to show her gratefulness.

"Hn." Both girls giggled at his response. Hinata picked Shin up. "Sasuke-san, do you mind –"

"It's okay. I know where her room is."

"Thank you."

After tucking the Shin and Takara to bed, Sasuke and Sakura bid their goodbye and headed back to their own quieter home.

"That was very sweet of you, Sasuke-kun." Sakura said, intertwining her hands with his. Not being content with the contact, Sasuke wrapped her in his arms instead. "Hn. It was exhausting."

Sakura giggled. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. Let's have kids."

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks. "W-What?"

Sasuke turned to her and smirked. "My clan won't restore itself, you know."

* * *

A/N: Shin's whole name is Shinjiru which means _believe_, inspired by Naruto's famous tagline. Takara means _treasure_.

Hope this makes up for all the weeks I haven't updated c:


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